His and Hers: Must add these to the registry!

Totally normal.

It's come to my attention that because I will soon be married, people assume I am one of those people ordering William and Kate commemorative mugs. Or at least one of those people waking up at 4 a.m. Friday to watch the pomp and pageantry.

Despite the media's efforts to shove the Royal Wedding down our throats since the couple's October engagement (by the way, as a member of the AP Exchange who searches the entertainment wire daily, I've been even more exposed than the average victim), I'm not hyped.

I mean, I'm not a total Royal hater. I was fascinated with Princess Diana as a child and read one of her autobiographies. She then became the subject of one of my A+ book reports. I was 13 when she died, and I remember exactly where I was and how I heard the tragic news. I was affected for sure.

She and Charles were married only a month before my parents were. And when I was a young teen I cut pictures of Prince William from glossy teen mags and taped them to my school notebooks. I also enjoy a good film dramatization of the British Monarchy.

And that's the extent of it. I'm no Anglophile. And so I'm inclined to ask the people who are hosting these so-called Royal Wedding viewing parties on Friday morning, complete with tea and scones and crowns and hats: WHY?

I get that this is technically an historical event. And I understand that Americans love excess -- everything the British Monarchy represents. We definitely have an unhealthy fascination with celebrity, and that could be both due to the fact that we don't have a royal family and the reason we are interested in the royals. And then it gets simple ... we love weddings. Turn on the tube and you shall see. BK just asked me how many of those "Say Yes to the Dress" type shows there are. The answer is, an excessive amount.

While I anticipate I'll be holding onto my last hour or two of sleep while Kate is arriving at Westminster Abbey to meet her prince, I'm sure the expected two billion viewers won't disappoint and will tune in. Fret not, there will be plenty of others in the blogosphere providing play-by-play accounts as the guests arrive. The Tweets of outrageous hats and fashion blogs critiquing THEE dress will run rampant.

In the mean time, allow me to share with you the real crown jewels. Royal Wedding kitsch. Because who doesn't love tacky paraphernalia?

The epitome of class.

Thinking about changing my china pattern.

Tea, anyone?

Every home should have one.

WTF?